Ladies, it is not strange to have issues in a relationship. Making it right after the storm is important. Because a little bit of this and that, here and there, now and then, makes the relationship fail.
Are you really sorry and looking for the best way to apologize to him? Here are some steps to take in achieving this.
A. Through words
If you are the type that prefers apologizing through words, then these are the steps to take in ensuring the effectiveness of your approach.
Make sure you get to the bottom of the problem.
This is important, because saying sorry without really showing it is vain. It has no effect when saying sorry and even do not know why you are saying sorry or why your boyfriend is upset in the first place. You need to ask yourself these simple questions:
What made you say those words or react the way you did? You being able to figure this out means you know what triggered your actions and there is a greater possibility of finding a way to fix it.
What are your plans to fix this? Knowing the cause is one, admitting is another, and then making a plan to fix it should be next. This shows you understand that you hurt him and you are willing to do what it takes to relieve him of the stress.
Start with a sincere “I’m sorry”.
This is the main reason of approaching him in the first place, start with this and then make him understand you cannot bear the fact that you make him feel bad.
To make this effective, make it known to him that you took time to analyze the situation with a clear head and understood all that you have done wrong.
Politely explain the reason why you did what you did.
Making him understand you did not mean to bring him pain with your actions, it could be a result of you being selfish, possessive, impatient, hot tempered, or even the usual emotional heightening that a female experiences at that time of the month – there are lot’s of reasons depending on the actual deed.
Never yell back even if he asks you to leave.
He actually has the right to ask you to leave, depending on the intensity of the offence and how badly you hurt him. Some guys take more time to be appeased than others.
As a sensitive girlfriend, it is your duty to know what kind of temperament your boyfriend has. This helps you to predetermine his reaction to your apology approach.
Be prepared to calm him down if he asks you to leave. Tell him reasons why you came to apologize, let him understand you miss him; tell him you can not stand the reality of him going through pain, not to talk of you being the cause; let him know you can not imagine spending another moment without him.
Give him time to respond.
Not all apologies are meant to get a response at the spot. Sometimes you need to wait minutes, hours, days, or even weeks to get a response.
This actually depends on the intensity of your offence and the temperament of your boyfriend. Make him know you understand if he cannot forgive you right away, but you are willing to wait. Don’t just go there with the hopes of him jumping on you immediately after the apology; it shows it’s a manipulated apology.
B. Other approaches
This section encompasses other ways of apologizing aside from using words. There are a lot of interesting ways, but count yourself lucky because they have been narrowed down to the most effective few.
Did you take those craft classes serious back in school? If you did, congrats, and if you didn’t, congrats still Here is a chance to put it to work.
There are lots of ideas on handmade gifts one can make to apologize. It gives a creative feel coupled with emotion and sacrifice.
Make a simple handmade card with stamps, rose with ribbons, crayon on canvas, any of the ideas you choose, just make sure it portrays the sorry message.
Just the idea of you going to that extent to apologize will touch his heart.
Can you tell me the last time you sent or received a letter that was handwritten? I’m sure you are thinking way back. Take advantage of this; compose a letter that contains all the steps in the verbal approach above.
But make sure it is neither too short nor too long. Go straight to the point and make sure he gets the message on time. It is a plus if you can add a poem or quotes in the letter.
Do well to ensure that the poem or quotes are your own original handwork; it shows the amount of time and energy you invested in the apology.
This depends on if he likes the idea of publicity. Don’t try this if he will freak out in a public scenario. There are various ways to achieve this.
You could just walk up to him when he is with his friends and apologize to him openly – this works most of the times.
There are various ideas of flash mobs that can be adopted as well. But have it in mind that this takes a huge investment of time and planning.
Songs and poems.
You can compose and dedicate a song or poem to him. You can as well easily create a CD of love/apology songs and include your message in it. Record your message or poem and let it be the first on the playlist. If this is not easily achievable, you can just write your message on the cover of the CD.
There are lots of creative ways to present this to him.
If he is a sport lover, then you have an edge already. All you need is to follow the game schedule of his favorite team and get two tickets to a significant game of that team (for instance; a game that determines the team’s qualification into the final stage of a tournament).
Put these tickets in an envelope with your apology letter and wait for him to say yes. If he is not a sport lover, then you can look out for a concert, show, or any other event that you know he loves being a part of.
Take advantage of the Internet.
This is an option that has been made very popular in our generation.
Creating a blog post and dedicating this to him. You could even make use of the social networks – if you don’t mind everyone reading your apology letter on his wall.
Let me know if you know of other great apology approaches that were omitted here. Leave a line or two in the comment box below!