Steps to Writing an Apology Letter to Your Wife: Guidelines and Advanced Strategies

Steps to Writing an Sorry Letter to Your Wife

The first step is admitting your fault, but then, does this change the fact that she feels hurt?
Applying the right approach to apologizing to your wife goes a long way in saving the situation and most importantly – your marriage.
Reading this means you have decided to apologize to your wife in a letter. Which could be done either by hand writing or using online services to spice it up – such as putting your letter in a slideshow.
That being said, whichever service or method you select to presenting this letter; the most important is the content of the letter itself.

Guidelines to writing an effective apology letter to your wife

  1. Be sure

The first thing worth considering before even attempting to write an apology letter is to be sure within yourself that you are sorry. If you are not convinced within yourself that you are sorry, then it is not worth to even start the letter because this will one way or the other be revealed in the content of the letter.
Writing down reasons why you are sorry could help here. This helps you understand how exactly you have wronged or made her feel bad as a result of your act or behavior.

  1. Be clear

Go to the point on time. Be sure you portray your reason of writing the letter – apology – as early as possible. There are lots of cases where people break up with a letter. Do not give your wife hypertension by beating around in the letter. Let her understand straight up that you mean to apologize and not contrary.

Don’t apologize in general terms. This is a very bad one. “I’m sorry in general for everything,” It means you do not even know why you are sorry. You do not understand why she feels hurt or what you did exactly to hurt her. This is a bad pointer, showing you are trying to bury the problem without even understanding it. Avoid this at all means.

Outline what you are sorry for. This shows you really understand what you did wrong or the reason why she is really upset in the first place. This portrays you are attentive and understood all details of the situation.

State the behaviors or act that you regret. Doing this makes it clearer to her that you also recognize the acts and behavior that accumulated the problem. There can be no solutions when the cause of the problem has not been revealed. This is a form of revealing that you know the causes.

  1. Remedy plans

Don’t place a bride in the letter. Stating your remedy plan does not mean you have to out rightly place a bribe in the letter. This makes the problem even worse later on. The apology itself – if done properly – is sometimes a remedy on its own. Don’t be in such a hurry to buy your way out of the situation.

  1. Remind them of what you love about them

This is a kind of psychic reminder that you are still in love with her. Let her understand you don’t want to spend another moment without her. You can not bear the reality of her being hurt, not to mention you are the cause of such pain.

I’m sure you don’t need extra tips to tell your wife why you love her, if you do, then you should be planning another apology for that also :).

Following the above guidelines is enough for you to make a super apology letter for your wife. Whereas, there are some advanced strategies to apply in the letter to help you structure a masterpiece.

Advanced apology letter strategy

  1. Always phrase your sentences in direct forms

Avoid presenting you apology after blame towards her. A typical example is; after pouring out lines of blames to her, you then end it with your apology in a bracket in front of it. This does not show you are really sorry. It is like trying to water down the effect of you blaming her. Never bracket an apology in blame towards her.

Avoid sentences about what you think that she thinks. Be precise and make your apology clear. Learn to take the blame and don’t hide behind words. Letting go off your ego is one way that helps to achieve this.

  1. Read the letter aloud to yourself

This is like test running a car before handing over to the client. It helps you see if the work has really been done and makes you sure of the performance.

Make sure there is no sound of insincerity in the letter. If you can notice this while reading, then you have no reason to rush in sending her the apology. Take time to restructure it till it reflects your exact true feelings.

  1. Finishing touches

Leave at a noticeable spot. If you are handwriting the apology letter, then you have to make sure that you leave it at a place where she will surely see it. This could go with a minor gift or flowers. Do well to wait until you are sure she must have read the letter before you approach her.

Avoid placing bribes in it. Never place a bribe in the letter. It shows you just want to bury the problem instead of trying to fix it. Some make this mistake in place of a make up plan. Do well not to fall a victim of this offence.

These guidelines and strategies are more than enough for any man to compose an effective apology letter for his lovely wife.

But, sometimes theory is not enough, how about some samples of apology letters to see how some people came up with theirs.

SAMPLE Letter #1

Although I have ALWAYS loved you with my heart and soul, I made you feel that EVERYTHING was more important to me than you. It never was the case, but that is how I made you feel and for that I am sorry. I did not realize how much it meant to you for me to be there for you and to make you feel loved. The hand holding, the hugs, public affection, letting you know how beautiful and appreciated you are, to name a few. I now see the things that I was lacking in. I just didn’t understand how important that was to us. I now know.

I have made mistakes in the past that hurt you and that cannot be changed. What I have been able to do is recognize those errors in judgment and have learned from them so that I can take steps to ensure that they will not occur again. I was selfishly caught up in myself, and with my selfishness and foolishness I helped create a void in our marriage that helped allow the affair with Isaac to happen. I regret that we find ourselves in the situation we are now in. I never imagined this would happen to us.

I’m aware that my behavior in the past contributed in part to your unhappiness and the emotional estrangement between us. I have worked very hard these past 5 months to overcome that behavior, not only for you, but for me and our daughter and son as well. I wanted to be a better husband, a better father, but most importantly a better person. People can change if they’re willing to take a long, hard look in the mirror and hold themselves accountable for who they are. I did that and I’m trying to be proud of the person I am becoming and will always strive to be better.

I still believe we can have a happy, loving, fulfilling marriage. I believe we can learn from our mistakes, grow from them and with effort and desire we can begin to slowly rebuild the love that was the foundation of our marriage and start to become a family again, for our sake and that of our kids. Think of how happy our family would be if our kids had parents who are in love with each other. I believe we can have a marriage based on trust and honesty where we both feel safe sharing our innermost thoughts, feelings, fears and dreams. The kind of marriage we both imagined when we said “I do”. I’m not naive, I know there’s been a lot of damage done. We would need the help of a marriage counselor to guide us in learning better ways to communicate, meet each other’s emotional needs and begin to rekindle the spark of emotional intimacy between us. It won’t be easy, but it can be done.

I’ve suffered tremendous pain from seeing our marriage falling apart and learning about your relationship with Isaac and Shane, but I never stopped loving you and I never forgot what a wonderful person you are and how much joy you brought me and our family. That gave me the strength and hope to go on. But the pain has became too much to bear and I cannot continue to live the way we are, so I had no choice but to separate for my own emotional well being. This wasn’t an easy thing for me to do, but it was a necessary step. This is not to punish you, it is to protect my feelings for you, and protect any kind of relationship we can have,if we continue as we are now, there would be nothing left.

SAMPLE Letter #2

Dear {Wife},

Well, I really messed up this time. I’m sure you’re getting used to that by now. But this time, I know you’re really mad because I {action}. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. It was stupid, and I didn’t mean to do it.

I understand that this hurt your feelings because {explanation}. I feel like hearing your interpretation of this situation has made us stronger as a couple. If I could take back what I did, I would. I can’t, so I’m hoping we can move forward together.

If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I’d like to grovel in person. You know I love you more than anything in the world, so feel free to unleash your wrath. I’ll take it. I absolutely deserve it because only an idiot would {action}.

I love you, {Wife}, and I am so sorry. Just know that I’m looking forward to the many mistakes we’ll make together in the future.

Your idiot husband, {Sender}


Do well not to copy the samples, but take them as examples to enlighten you on accomplishing this task better. Let me know if there are suggestions to improving either the guidelines or strategies.

Feel free to use the comment box below!

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