The Art Of Apologizing Effectively: 5 Essential Elements


A lot of us have problem making a sincere apology, however, the art of apologizing effectively is as easy as ABC. Though it has to be done the right way.

There are various ways to screw up an apology and you can avoid all of them with these 5 essential apology elements.

How to apologize to your boyfriend or girlfriend that will really be considered?

1. Showing regret

Put the regrets first. For you to even think of apologizing, you should be convinced within yourself that you are wrong and understand that you hurt this person.

Avoid starting with phrases such as: ‘I will like to explain my point of view’ or ‘first, tell me what I did wrong’. Using effective phrases to start your apology is important and examples are: ‘Please forgive me’ or ‘Let me start by apologizing’.

Approaching the person with regret will help show your sincerely understand you did wrong and feel bad about it. This gives you a start point for your conversation.

However, do not include ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’ in your apology because these show you are not really sorry, but just trying to bury the hatchet. For example: ‘I’m sorry if I hurt you’ or ‘I never meant to make you unhappy, but you get me angry at times’ or ‘I’m sorry you feel this way’.


2. Setting the ground

Here are some important factors to note:

  • Make the first move: Nobody said it would be easy to apologize, but what could be more difficult than admitting within you that you are wrong? Once you understand that you are guilty you need to take the bold step of initiating the apology.
  • Right timing: This is one important fact that can influence the apology as a whole. Look for a time that will be convenient for them, as it will not be favorable to get a divided attention.
  • Better to do it in person: A personal apology is the most effective because you have the chance to physically express your remorse. It is even better to do it in private, rather than on phone, text message, or on social networks.
  • Plan what to say: Of course, this should not be like reciting a how to say sorry to your boyfriend article. It is a way to make sure that you do not deviate from the plan. Make a list of things you are sorry for, things you regret, how you plan to change, and so on.


3. Accepting responsibility

This is one way to make sure you don’t blow the alarm even before your apology has been accepted. Show that you are guilty and accept full responsibility for everything that went wrong.

Actually, in most cases, the other party is also guilty in some ways, but you shouldn’t mention this when apologizing. They will voluntarily apologize to you later.

Avoid saying things like: ‘Actually, you also were wrong’.


4. Restitution move

Thought it would be satisfactory for some people, but it is not enough just to show you are sorry and accepting responsibility.

Show you are willing to change and will not allow such to happen again. And preferably add a plan to make up for the hurt you might have caused.


5. Show respect and understanding

It is normal for the person not to give a response immediately, so you have to show that you understand if they need time to think about it.

This actually depends on how serious the offence was; these steps have been proven to get immediate and positive result for a lot of people.


I hope you found my article useful and I will be glad to read your response on how it helped you. Feel free to leave a line or two in the comment box.

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